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Dilettante's Diary: the internal dialogue of a hedonist bluestocking.

I am a dilettante. I know quite a bit about a lot of things, but I don't know enough to be an expert on anything. I have a very sensual, hedonistic nature, but I am also a thinker, and I aim one day to be worthy of the label 'bluestocking', despite its pejorative connotations.

This is my journal, which, delightfully enough, doesn't have to go wherever I go, but is accessible from nearly everywhere I am.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

being in love is like holding a butterfly


I'm not clinging to what we had. That way lies torment and illness. And I find that the in-love feeling fades when it is cut off from the source that sustained it. Besides, that scroll on my wall reminds me:
In the end what matters most is
how well did you live
how well did you love
how well did you learn to let go

I'm still learning. But I've loved him so beautifully in my shy and cautious way, until I felt like the sun was shining inside me. And it is only fitting that I let that love go, like a butterfly, something too beautiful to be held for long, and watch with appreciation as it takes wing, hoping some day it will visit me again.

posted by KR | 10/26/2005 06:59:00 AM

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