Dec 03 Therapy.

Friday's therapy session went well. Knowing my discomfort with emotional topics, my therapist is taking a more cerebral approach. We discussed a number of things, including my personality type (ENTP) and how it shapes the way I function and approach reality. She reminded me that during the intake session she had asked if I'd had any deaths recently. I'd said 'no'. But then it came out that I'd lost 4 people in 4 years. We discussed the grieving process and my tendency to by-pass it by accepting death as a fact of life and choosing to move on. She says that because I have not allowed myself to grieve, my feelings of loss are unresolved, and they are still there, regardless of whether or not I am conscious of them or not. Thus, my feelings become unconscious motivators that baffle my attempts to analyze because I refuse to acknowledge their existence . Grr. So I told her I'm not comfortable expressing my emotions and asked her how to become comfortable doing so. She said the only way is to allow myself to feel and express them, and in time, I'll grow more comfortable. I felt this big DUH at myself when she said it.

The blood draw for endocrinology was no fun. The phlebotomist had to change vials a few times and she punctured the other side of my vein. My arm hurt for two days and I still have a bruise.