Sand in my shoes

Tonite, while Stephanie was off doing something for one of her classes, I took advantage of the opportunity to meet Chris at Stanleys for a burger and a beer. I still haven't told her I'm dating... She told me a couple of months ago that she wants me to be happy and she knows I'll start dating again, but that she was not ready for it to happen anytime soon... it still hurts her that we didn't work out and that I'll be going back to men.

While Chris and I were talking I drank two bottles of porter and they were so filling I only ate half of my burger, at which time I could feel a serious buzz coming on (I skipped breakfast and had very little for lunch). Chris doesn't drink, so I had him bring me home, lest I do something stupid walking home -- like trip and fall. I had this persistent feeling that I didn't know him well enough to feel comfortable / safe around him when I'm inebriated. It makes me sad that 20 years after my near-miss with date rape I still don't trust men when I've been drinking. I know I was much younger then, and that the idiot who tried to take advantage of the situation was little more than a boy, but some men don't change much when they 'grow up'. I have no desire to become another statisic, so its better to be cautious.

When I got home I started listening to my female vocalist playlist on 'random', and this wonderful song by Dido came up. It made me think about my vacation and how much I miss my travelling companion, all the wide-open spaces, and that slower, relaxed pace.

Sand In My Shoes -- by Dido
Two weeks away it feels like the world should've changed
But I'm home now
And things still look the same
I think I'll leave it till tomorrow to unpack
Try to forget for one more night
That I'm back in my flat on the road
Where the cars never stop going through the night
To real life where I can't watch the sunset
I don't have time
I don't have time

[Chorus:]
I've still got sand in my shoes
And I can't shake the thought of you
I shake it all, forget you
Why, why would I want to
I know we said goodbye
Anything else would've been confused but
I wanna see you again

Tomorrow's back to work and down to sanity
Should run a bath and then clear up the mess I made before I left here
Try to remind myself that I was happy here
Before I knew that I could get
on the plane and fly away from the road
Where the cars never stop going through the night
To a life where I can watch the sunset
And take my time
Take all our time

[Chorus]

I wanna see you again
Two weeks away,
all it takes to change
and turn me around I've fallen
I walked away
and never said
that I wanted to see you again

[Chorus]