Revisiting meditation

I loved vacation. It was very relaxing. But the true drawback was that my daily routine was broken and hasn't entirely been repaired. I lost the habit of daily meditation that I had so carefully cultivated. I didn't need to set aside a specific time to meditate on my vacation, as much of it was meditational: the driving, the long walks, the moments contemplating the countryside -- these served to ground me in the moment, relieving that spacial awareness of 'self' as two distinctly different objects (body object and mental object). But back in the Real World(tm) is tension and reinforcement of spacial rather than temporal awareness, and the only way I know of to dip myself 'at will' back into that effortless, unencumbered awareness of experience as something continuously and fluidly unfolding is meditation.

So last night around 8 I decided to set aside some time and meditate. I lost track of time and was sitting zazen for 1.5 hours instead of 20 minutes, and when I finished, I realized that it was the lack of meditative experience that was the root of my anti-social feelings.