My Misogyny, II
The true irony of my general dislike of women is that I was educated at Smith College -- a women's college. I've been pondering it over the weekend, and decided that my misogyny really started when I left academia.
At Smith, I was in this amazing academic environment, filled with brilliant women. Brilliant, talented women. I never once met a stupid Smithie. The professors were all top-shelf, the facilities were the envy of all my friends... I had access to electron microscopes as an undergrad, an exercise facility to rival the one at the Air Force Academy, the ability to attend courses at Amherst, Mt Holyoke, Hampshire and UMASS Amherst, and I used state-of-the-art computers like the DEC Alpha and Sparc 10s when they first came out. I had my professor's home phone numbers if I needed help and it was not during campus hours. I lived in a house with 60 other women, and we were spoiled. We sat in our comfy living room and talked until 3am, played odd board games, tutored each other in physics, molecular genetics, differential equations, art, literature, greek, chinese. I traded massages for guitar lessons, chemistry tutoring, and artwork. We had our own impromptu chamber concerts because so many in the house played instruments or sang.
We had a grand piano, hardwood floors, our own bedrooms, our own dining room, our own cooks and dining room assistants. We had Sunday Brunches to rival those of any good restaurant, candlelight dinners on Thursday evenings, and High Tea every Friday afternoon, and the cooks would make whatever delectables we wanted. Some of us hopped beds went we felt like it, revelling in the acceptance of woman-woman relationships and the joy of being with someone who really understood. During the reading period just before exams, many of us would not make it back to our houses for meals, so the College set up sack lunch tables in the lobbies of the campus buildings and we could get food and drink day or night. All for ~$30k a year. I'm sure tuition and fees has gone up since then.
It was wonderful, being surrounded by so many incredible, empowered, confident women. It became an unconscious assumption that all women were incredible, empowered, and self-confident.
And then came reality. I left college and joined the Real World(tm). And the Real World does not have a high concentration of such exceptional women. No, quite the contrary. Smith and other women's colleges take the best female minds, empower women with the awareness that we can do anything, and then set us loose upon the world. But they forget to prepare us for one undeniable truth: People are Cattle.
It used to make me sad when I would come across women complacently chewing the cud that Life and their choices had produced. It used to make me angry. It used to make me frustrated. Now, it just makes me disgusted.
So that is where my misogyny comes from. I see all the things these women could be and do, the changes they could effect in the world and their lives... and instead of being self-aware, they'd rather be cattle. And not only that, they perpetuate the woman-as-bovine image that all thinking women struggle against on a daily basis. I hope it changes. I hope I can reclaim my compassion. I hope I can reclaim the optimist's energy that kept me working in the ghetto with inner-city kids for nearly a decade. I hope I come across more every-day women who will restore my faith in my gender. Its lonely out here.
At Smith, I was in this amazing academic environment, filled with brilliant women. Brilliant, talented women. I never once met a stupid Smithie. The professors were all top-shelf, the facilities were the envy of all my friends... I had access to electron microscopes as an undergrad, an exercise facility to rival the one at the Air Force Academy, the ability to attend courses at Amherst, Mt Holyoke, Hampshire and UMASS Amherst, and I used state-of-the-art computers like the DEC Alpha and Sparc 10s when they first came out. I had my professor's home phone numbers if I needed help and it was not during campus hours. I lived in a house with 60 other women, and we were spoiled. We sat in our comfy living room and talked until 3am, played odd board games, tutored each other in physics, molecular genetics, differential equations, art, literature, greek, chinese. I traded massages for guitar lessons, chemistry tutoring, and artwork. We had our own impromptu chamber concerts because so many in the house played instruments or sang.
We had a grand piano, hardwood floors, our own bedrooms, our own dining room, our own cooks and dining room assistants. We had Sunday Brunches to rival those of any good restaurant, candlelight dinners on Thursday evenings, and High Tea every Friday afternoon, and the cooks would make whatever delectables we wanted. Some of us hopped beds went we felt like it, revelling in the acceptance of woman-woman relationships and the joy of being with someone who really understood. During the reading period just before exams, many of us would not make it back to our houses for meals, so the College set up sack lunch tables in the lobbies of the campus buildings and we could get food and drink day or night. All for ~$30k a year. I'm sure tuition and fees has gone up since then.
It was wonderful, being surrounded by so many incredible, empowered, confident women. It became an unconscious assumption that all women were incredible, empowered, and self-confident.
And then came reality. I left college and joined the Real World(tm). And the Real World does not have a high concentration of such exceptional women. No, quite the contrary. Smith and other women's colleges take the best female minds, empower women with the awareness that we can do anything, and then set us loose upon the world. But they forget to prepare us for one undeniable truth: People are Cattle.
It used to make me sad when I would come across women complacently chewing the cud that Life and their choices had produced. It used to make me angry. It used to make me frustrated. Now, it just makes me disgusted.
So that is where my misogyny comes from. I see all the things these women could be and do, the changes they could effect in the world and their lives... and instead of being self-aware, they'd rather be cattle. And not only that, they perpetuate the woman-as-bovine image that all thinking women struggle against on a daily basis. I hope it changes. I hope I can reclaim my compassion. I hope I can reclaim the optimist's energy that kept me working in the ghetto with inner-city kids for nearly a decade. I hope I come across more every-day women who will restore my faith in my gender. Its lonely out here.
posted by KR | 5/31/2005 09:36:00 PM
3 Comments:
Its damn lonely actually. Now I'm really jealous Kelly. I got put on the waiting list for Smith in 1989, but never got in.
Wellesley wait-listed me :)
But Smith was my first love and first choice. Best thing that ever happened to me. But it didn't really 'happen'. I worked like a dog to get there and stay there. 30k a year is a lot of money, and even with grants and scholarships, I was usually short 5 to 6k, so work work work ;)
I didn't apply to Smith, but I don't think they would have let me in. ;-) My sister-in-law went there though. All-girl schools sound nice. An all-guy school would be so anti-social. The all-girl dorms were the best on campus (I worked on campus many years). The all-guy dorms were lonely places without much interaction. Your experience at Smith sounds like a great opportunity.
I don't think the issues you talked about are female. I get the same impression when leaving UT about humanity in general. It's not like men are out being successful while women aren't. Well, not en masse. People really are cattle. It's sad.
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