My Misogyny
(click the title to hear the audioblog entry)
I really don't like women much.
Its terrible, I know, but I've spent all my life in the shadow of the expectation that I will always think and act using what I call "feminine fuzzy logic." The sad thing is that most women are like the stereotypes. And it annoys me to the extreme. It's not that I think other women are stupid... no, its more that I think that females are still being socialized to be objectified vagina-mobiles... and few are aware of it or care enough about it to exceed their behavioural conditioning.
For some lucky people, the ability to think critically does not need to be taught, it comes naturally. But for most of humanity it is a skill that must be learned. And because it is something that must be learned, females are not taught how to think critically, because there are no expectations of them ever needing it. No, instead, we are taught that we should not be too smart or boys will not like us. We are taught that math is too hard for our tiny brains. We are taught that a perfect manicure, gravity-defying breasts, 2.2 children, a husband, and a house with a three-car garage and white picket fence are all we need to be complete as women. So many strive for it, and some achieve it, and then wonder why they are so full of rage when they have everything they ever wanted.
I work in an estrogen ocean. There are two men in my office, everyone else is female. I get to hear about the thongs that just won't stay in place, about the pantiliners made just for thongs, about the best place to get a brazilian wax. I get to hear about the fights over sex with the husbands for not taking out the garbage, or changing the furnace filters, or being too lazy to take the boat out of dry-dock. (I despise sexual blackmail). I get to hear the bickering over American Idol, Survivor, and The Apprentice, and am asked "don't you think so?" all the time, even though I have told them a thousand times that I do not watch TV. Shopping, shoes, purses, hair, tans, cars, carpeting, children and pets spitting-farting-burping-shitting-crying-fighting --these are the most common concerns and topics of conversation. *yawn*
I get to hear the most ridiculous, uninformed opinions on everything from stem cell research to the war on terror. I know better than to question their opinions, because they are unable to articulate the reasoning behind their convictions: "I just do." *shrug*
When I ask them when was the last time they read a good book, I get a blank look. Mention music not on pop radio stations, another blank look. Get excited because Jared Diamond is lecturing in town on the bio-geographical factors in social collapse -- another blank look. Helpfully mention that a problem communicating with a child probably has to do with the fact that the child hasn't reached the concrete operational stage of cognitive development yet -- another blank look. When asked this week what my favorite website to shop for gifts was, I said thinkgeek.com -- and I got another blank look.
There are exceptions to this, of course, and when I find those women, I value them greatly. But I rarely bond with them. I'm not sure why, but I expect it has to do with my mother and Demming. Examination of my feelings indicates a rather deep distrust of women. Something else to talk to my therapist about, I guess...
I really don't like women much.
Its terrible, I know, but I've spent all my life in the shadow of the expectation that I will always think and act using what I call "feminine fuzzy logic." The sad thing is that most women are like the stereotypes. And it annoys me to the extreme. It's not that I think other women are stupid... no, its more that I think that females are still being socialized to be objectified vagina-mobiles... and few are aware of it or care enough about it to exceed their behavioural conditioning.
For some lucky people, the ability to think critically does not need to be taught, it comes naturally. But for most of humanity it is a skill that must be learned. And because it is something that must be learned, females are not taught how to think critically, because there are no expectations of them ever needing it. No, instead, we are taught that we should not be too smart or boys will not like us. We are taught that math is too hard for our tiny brains. We are taught that a perfect manicure, gravity-defying breasts, 2.2 children, a husband, and a house with a three-car garage and white picket fence are all we need to be complete as women. So many strive for it, and some achieve it, and then wonder why they are so full of rage when they have everything they ever wanted.
I work in an estrogen ocean. There are two men in my office, everyone else is female. I get to hear about the thongs that just won't stay in place, about the pantiliners made just for thongs, about the best place to get a brazilian wax. I get to hear about the fights over sex with the husbands for not taking out the garbage, or changing the furnace filters, or being too lazy to take the boat out of dry-dock. (I despise sexual blackmail). I get to hear the bickering over American Idol, Survivor, and The Apprentice, and am asked "don't you think so?" all the time, even though I have told them a thousand times that I do not watch TV. Shopping, shoes, purses, hair, tans, cars, carpeting, children and pets spitting-farting-burping-shitting-crying-fighting --these are the most common concerns and topics of conversation. *yawn*
I get to hear the most ridiculous, uninformed opinions on everything from stem cell research to the war on terror. I know better than to question their opinions, because they are unable to articulate the reasoning behind their convictions: "I just do." *shrug*
When I ask them when was the last time they read a good book, I get a blank look. Mention music not on pop radio stations, another blank look. Get excited because Jared Diamond is lecturing in town on the bio-geographical factors in social collapse -- another blank look. Helpfully mention that a problem communicating with a child probably has to do with the fact that the child hasn't reached the concrete operational stage of cognitive development yet -- another blank look. When asked this week what my favorite website to shop for gifts was, I said thinkgeek.com -- and I got another blank look.
There are exceptions to this, of course, and when I find those women, I value them greatly. But I rarely bond with them. I'm not sure why, but I expect it has to do with my mother and Demming. Examination of my feelings indicates a rather deep distrust of women. Something else to talk to my therapist about, I guess...
posted by KR | 5/28/2005 01:18:00 PM
9 Comments:
Kelly, it is quite understandable that you don't feel akin to most females.The reason is clearly obvious to me, and I don't know you.
I do have to disagree with you that women underachieve because of societal pressure. I think the physical chemistry of men and women are just different!Testosterone is a substance which elicits different behaviors than estrogen!!This is just stark reality!
Kelly,a professor at Harvard got into a bit of trouble recently because he dared to say that women were not adept at science. I think men and women ARE different !It is NOT to say that one is BETTER than the other, it is just stating fact!
Women generally are more emotional driven, and men are more logic driven!This is not to say that the opposite is not true in some instances!I think that you are a woman who has either learned to disregard her emotional cues, or you have more testosterone than estrogen in your chemical makeup!
Even though Lawrence Summers is not a professor, but the President at Harvard, and the fact that he never stated that, soundboyz is on to something in his completely misinformed way. Oddly enough the flap over Summers harmless statement started when a womyn said she had to leave the room or throwup. Really good logic Little Miss Priss.
Here in Mississippi, women are revered by men and always elevated to the point of worship.
I am not interested in any woman that could spend all day at a beauty salon or is afraid to break a nail. However, femininity is extremely attractive when tempered with rational thought and a voice that could stop a clock.
Oh, and I really like women. Too much some of the time in fact.
>The above sounds like an argument for men to be homosexuals, SB. Are you coming-out? Are you saying that men don't like women, either, that we are just a necessary evil -- vagina support systems?
Kelly, I don't know where you came up with this from my comments!!I was just pointing out the "natural" differences between men and women. I was not making any compatability judgments.I would think that because men and women are such opposites, they would naturally attract each other!!
Whoops, soundboyz is busted. She's joking, player.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I do believe that Dr. Summers IS a professor as well as the president at Harvard!!!!
Summers, Lawrence H.
Professor of Economics and President of Harvard University. Speeches, biography, contact information.
www.president.harvard.edu/ - 13k - Cached - Similar pages
[ More results from www.president.harvard.edu ]
Furthermore, he DID say what I stated he said!
n January 2005, Summers gave a speech [2] (http://www.president.harvard.edu/speeches/2005/nber.html) at an economic conference in which he discussed possible reasons for the current underrepresentation of women at the top in many fields, especially in science and engineering. He said that although his remarks were provocative, it was vitally important to study the underlying reasons. These may include social issues, such as willingness to commit fully to a highly demanding career, and biological differences between the genders.
Irregardless of who is the President of Harvard or who's on first, I wanted to post my two cents. Kelly I respect you more now than I ever have. Why? Because I too have trouble dealing with women. Also, the few I do respect I am not close to. My ambivilance comes from a forced competition between myself and my younger sister, a competiton I could never win. So I just refuse to compete, or interact, with women. I just happen to get along better with men. Good to know you aren't alone, isn't it :P?
Interesting exchange of views. I thought that the brouhaha about Dr. Summers' speech was a bit over the top. Someone zeroed in on a few sentences and set the ball rolling.
The full text of his speech at the National Bureau of Economic Research (NBER) on January 14,2005, can be read at:
http://www.president.harvard.edu/speeches/2005/nber.html
Love women; respect them. Don't understand them fully and all the time---who does? Vive la difference.
It is misogyny you describe. I, personally, love women. I just don't put up with the things that surround you. Being male helps. I am exposed to it less often.
Post a Comment
<< Home