On being single
Being single creates opportunities for personal development. Reflection, self-discovery, focus--uninterrupted 'me' time. It also creates the inevitable sexual frustration.
I've never been shy in my use of sex-toys, and while my mind can provide scenarios free of the glitches common in love-making that are vivid enough to achieve orgasm by, this type of self-love is not a substitute for the warmth and solidity of a real person. For this reason, I am rarely without a lover, male or female, for long.
Of course, real people have baggage, hang-ups, and prejudices -- all of which I am willing to deal with, because I have them, too. They also have STDs, which, I confess, I am not willing to deal with. I'm clean. I've never even been visited by Candida albicans. So, while I am very much interested in taking a lover again, I am very reluctant to enter the meat-market again.
When thinking about a possible new lover, I am always concerned about safety. I am grateful that I don't have to worry about pregnancy, but these days such a life-altering event almost pales in comparison to some of the STDs out there. I'd rather raise 5 children than try to live with AIDS, or syphilis, or herpes.
It scares the hell out of me. So I've decided to proceed with extreme caution. Acute sexual frustration is preferable to life-altering infection.
Being predominately hetero, I think of men first when I think about sex. But, as lovers, men are a bother because they hate condoms. And I don't blame them. Male condoms are a pain in the ass (pardon the pun), which is why I prefer the Reality Female Condom. They are more difficult to find, so I'm going to have to order online, I think, or ask my local pharmacy to carry them. But, as I recall from my days at college, they were considerably less of a hassle as they could be inserted hours in advance, and after the first few times I didn't even notice I had one in me.
Remembering this makes me feel less anxious about it. Which is good.
I've never been shy in my use of sex-toys, and while my mind can provide scenarios free of the glitches common in love-making that are vivid enough to achieve orgasm by, this type of self-love is not a substitute for the warmth and solidity of a real person. For this reason, I am rarely without a lover, male or female, for long.
Of course, real people have baggage, hang-ups, and prejudices -- all of which I am willing to deal with, because I have them, too. They also have STDs, which, I confess, I am not willing to deal with. I'm clean. I've never even been visited by Candida albicans. So, while I am very much interested in taking a lover again, I am very reluctant to enter the meat-market again.
When thinking about a possible new lover, I am always concerned about safety. I am grateful that I don't have to worry about pregnancy, but these days such a life-altering event almost pales in comparison to some of the STDs out there. I'd rather raise 5 children than try to live with AIDS, or syphilis, or herpes.
It scares the hell out of me. So I've decided to proceed with extreme caution. Acute sexual frustration is preferable to life-altering infection.
Being predominately hetero, I think of men first when I think about sex. But, as lovers, men are a bother because they hate condoms. And I don't blame them. Male condoms are a pain in the ass (pardon the pun), which is why I prefer the Reality Female Condom. They are more difficult to find, so I'm going to have to order online, I think, or ask my local pharmacy to carry them. But, as I recall from my days at college, they were considerably less of a hassle as they could be inserted hours in advance, and after the first few times I didn't even notice I had one in me.
Remembering this makes me feel less anxious about it. Which is good.
posted by KR | 8/25/2004 10:32:00 PM
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