Bless me mother. It has been a week since my last confession.
Today I called a client and wished him a Happy Birthday, whereupon I was regaled with 40 minutes of how unhappy his marriage is, how his wife never remembers his birthday, and how his only respite is taking long trips away from home. This from a man who is a physician who owns four franchises plus another business and still manages to practice medicine. I'm not sure what to think.
On the family front, my sister Terri is a nervous wreck. She's got a 6 moth old daughter and my father and step-mother decided to come visit for 3 weeks. Now, Terri and my father's wife have not, since Terri was 13, been able to spend 3 pleasant minutes together. I dread hearing how things are going.
My father, the pitiful, tactless, erratic fool, managed to do something unconscionable that has him and my other sister, Tammy, permanently estranged. He's been trying to make-up since March, but every time he calls, she tells him she doesn't know him, or that her father is dead, or something similar. Over the summer he learned that Tammy has a growth on her lung that she refuses to have biopsied. Our grandmother developed lung cancer, and the treatment for it was so horrifying that Tammy refuses any treatment at all. The only thing she will consent to is regular X-rays. So, my father called me and asked me if I knew, and I told him I've known for about 3 years. He wanted to know why I hadn't told him. I told him that Tammy had said not to tell anyone. He said, "Don't you know that means she wanted you to tell people?" I told him that he was a fool. That I respect Tammy and her wishes for privacy and silence, and that if I want to continue to be a part of her life, I have to continue to respect her wishes. His painful response: "But what if she has cancer? What if she dies before we make up?" had me replying, "That is between the two of you. But if I were you, I would respect her wishes and leave her alone. As far as she is concerned, both of her parents died within a year of each other. She wants nothing to do with you."
I learned last weekend that he manipulated my nephew (Terri's son) into calling Tammy and begging her to make-up with Dad. Tammy said he cried and cried and she just couldn't bear to have him go through the tortures of being caught in the middle the way we were as children. So she went and saw him. When Dad went to hug her she held him off, telling him "This is for Sean. Not for you. Don't think this changes anything."
Today I called a client and wished him a Happy Birthday, whereupon I was regaled with 40 minutes of how unhappy his marriage is, how his wife never remembers his birthday, and how his only respite is taking long trips away from home. This from a man who is a physician who owns four franchises plus another business and still manages to practice medicine. I'm not sure what to think.
On the family front, my sister Terri is a nervous wreck. She's got a 6 moth old daughter and my father and step-mother decided to come visit for 3 weeks. Now, Terri and my father's wife have not, since Terri was 13, been able to spend 3 pleasant minutes together. I dread hearing how things are going.
My father, the pitiful, tactless, erratic fool, managed to do something unconscionable that has him and my other sister, Tammy, permanently estranged. He's been trying to make-up since March, but every time he calls, she tells him she doesn't know him, or that her father is dead, or something similar. Over the summer he learned that Tammy has a growth on her lung that she refuses to have biopsied. Our grandmother developed lung cancer, and the treatment for it was so horrifying that Tammy refuses any treatment at all. The only thing she will consent to is regular X-rays. So, my father called me and asked me if I knew, and I told him I've known for about 3 years. He wanted to know why I hadn't told him. I told him that Tammy had said not to tell anyone. He said, "Don't you know that means she wanted you to tell people?" I told him that he was a fool. That I respect Tammy and her wishes for privacy and silence, and that if I want to continue to be a part of her life, I have to continue to respect her wishes. His painful response: "But what if she has cancer? What if she dies before we make up?" had me replying, "That is between the two of you. But if I were you, I would respect her wishes and leave her alone. As far as she is concerned, both of her parents died within a year of each other. She wants nothing to do with you."
I learned last weekend that he manipulated my nephew (Terri's son) into calling Tammy and begging her to make-up with Dad. Tammy said he cried and cried and she just couldn't bear to have him go through the tortures of being caught in the middle the way we were as children. So she went and saw him. When Dad went to hug her she held him off, telling him "This is for Sean. Not for you. Don't think this changes anything."
posted by KR | 12/06/2002 04:33:00 PM
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