Labor Day Weekend

Saturday morning and afternoon I did some work in back, moving a flower bed. I'm a bit stiff from shovelling, but it is worth it. The rhododendron and the christmas box bushes are now in a better location. I look forward to the wonderful honey scent of the christmas box when it blooms in December and January. Same thing again on Sunday, more work in back, more shovelling, lifting, and moving. The long raised bed now has the sweet orange osmanthus, winter daphne, and astilbe, as well as the tulip bulbs and anemones. It is going to be phenomenal in the Spring.

Saturday night Lori and I went out, had a few drinks. She sang karaoke, and we danced some on the other side of the bar. It was a good time, as well as a few good conversations. The way things are in the world right now, people don't want to burden each other with their problems or darker thoughts. But Lori and I talked about relationship and family troubles, and her concerns about the world her children are going to inherit, and about how we feel with regards to Katrina (we both feel like its Sept 11th all over again, there is so much tension and despair and media coverage). Still no word on James and Wynter and the children. I've tried everything, I've even sent snail-mail to their PO Box in MS. All I can do now is wait, and pray, and send metta their way.

I did an experiment with brownies. I made them wth Dagoba's Xocolatl chocolate, which has chilie, maca, and nutmeg in it. I made a cream cheese mixture with roseflower water and cardamom, swirled that in, and baked it for an hour. All I can say is "wow". They were at hit at the BBQ yesterday. A few people asked me where I got the recipe and I told them they were guinea pigs, that it was an experiment. There is something about the way the chile and chocolate and cardamom and roseflower complemented each other that was very surprising. And aromatic. Half the delight of the brownies was the way they smelled.

The BBQ was good. Robin and Josh were there, and Chris' sister Sara and her boys, a couple of cousins from Kalama, some of his friends, and his ex-GF, Tasha. I didn't know she was his ex until after I chatted with her. She's very pretty, very petite, with masses of glossy dark brown hair. I thought she was nice enough, but we had little in common to talk about: I don't shop or watch TV or listen to country music. She doesn't read or garden or drink wine. The only things we had in common were a love of comfortable shoes (she admired my Keens and I admired her Tevas), chocolate, horses, and, of course, Chris. She asked a fair number of questions about Chris and how we'd met, etc, the same questions I'd fielded from others, so I didn't think anything of it. Later, Sara brought me a lemon drop and told me I'd been quizzed by one of Chris' exes, who was now dating one of his friends. I wasn't sure how to feel about that, but I did feel oddly insecure. She is very pretty, fit, and sociable--and I am not. But, I supposed that if that was what Chris wanted, they'd still be dating--or he'd be seeing someone like her.

Things started winding down about 9pm and I was beat from two days of yard work. I asked Chris if I could nap on his bed for a bit and he told me I could. I would have napped in the guest room, but the bed there was covered in jackets and purses and other guest paraphernalia. So I kicked off my shoes and crawled under the coverlet and crashed. I woke up to a kiss on the forehead and him kneeling by the bed. The clock said 10:30. I smiled at him, apologized for sleeping so long. He kissed me and said not to worry about it, everyone was gone now. He asked how I felt and I stretched and told him I felt a little stiff, but otherwise rested. He offered to rub the sore places, and I agreed, even though it meant slipping out of my clamdiggers. He massaged my legs and low back for me, which I repaid him for in kisses. My favorite form of currency exchange. By 11:30 we were both breathing pretty heavily and I needed a break, so he put on a movie and we snuggled there on his bed. We fell asleep, woke each other up with touches and kisses, fell asleep, woke each other again. There are so many ways two people can pleasure each other without coitus, and we sampled a few of them. The night passed in a sensual haze. He was gentle and patient, and I was hot and bothered. It was nice sleeping with my legs tangled with his, listening to the thud of his heart, the feel of him nearby, just a caress away. Its been over 5 years since I spent the night snuggled up to a man. Definately different from snuggling with a woman. It felt really good, though, and both comfortable and uncomfortable, in good ways. Stretching my boundaries.

We woke up early, right around 6am, showered, and made breakfast together. He asked me if I wanted to go to church with him and Sara and the boys. Lutheran. Dad's family are Lutheran. I suppose its better than the fundamentalist brand of Christianity mom's parents were involved in. I thanked him but declined. Churches are lovely gathering places, but they seem blasphemous as places of worship. I just don't think you can find god in a building, no matter how exalted the architecture or the artwork. Those places glorify man, not god.