In the midnight hour

He: Why wouldn't he like me? (surprised)
Me: He is very territorial.
He: I thought he wasn't your lover... (puzzled)
Me: He's not. Though I might consider it, if he was married. (grinning)
He: Interesting. Do you feel safer when he is the possession of another?
Me: Yes. (serious)
He: Why?
Me: Because I cannot be possessed, and I'm really not capable of long-term mono-fidelity, and he would want both.
He: You cannot be possessed, babe, because you give yourself so willingly.
Me: Very good!
He: I understand how that paradox applies to you... does he?
Me: Honestly? I doubt it. My hedonism frustrates him.
He: Really? How could he not love your sensuality, babe?
Me: He's highly intelligent, lives in his head, like me. But unlike me, he believes that the satisfaction achieved via thinking is a higher road than the satisfactions achieved via the senses.
He: Let me guess, he is highly visual.
Me: Yes, like most men, he is wired that way. (wry)
He: The visual cortex takes up so much of the brain's processing capacity it is astonishing.
Me: Yes. Subract the visual element, and suddenly, everything else is more intense.
He: True. Our emphasis on the visual to the exclusion of other senses is detrimental, but don't forget...
Me: Don't forget what?
He: That 'visual' is part of 'visionary. Is there anything more inspiring than the well shaped ass of a woman, I ask you?
Me: The feel of that ass under your hands. The way the flesh gives like a ripe fruit. The way the skin is soft like silk. The way the flesh tastes and smells.
He: Yes. But I feel it seeingly.
Me: And I see it feelingly. Its how I'm wired.
He: "I see it feelingly" King Lear. This is you.
He: "I see it with a hard on" King Leer. This is me.
Me: Wonderful play on words!
He: My puns are terrible.
Me: I love them :)
He: That is why they are wonderful.
Me: *grin* I want to make a point about 'satisfaction'
He: What point is that?
Me: He is almost perpetually dissatisfied with some aspect of his life. Like most of humanity. I think most people's satisfaction with their lives would be higher if they took the time to notice what they are experiencing sensually, instead of tuning it out because it does not meet some visual criteria or expectation threshhold.
He: Indeed. But we don't consciously tune it out. It is part of the routine. Everday hum drum.
Me: It doesn't have to be that way, though.

When I meditate, I find myself attempting to live a posture, to breathe a whole body, to clear an entire mind. I am not as successful as I would like to be, yet, even as I silently struggle to sit still, to simply be, to occupy the space I am in with all my senses, I find my awareness anchored in my body, in the rise and fall of my chest, in the slide of the cloth against my skin.. I feel more connected with my body, with my senses, captivated by the aliveness, the sheer sensuous immediacy of the moment I am living.

It is a deeply satisying experience of altered consciousness. An ancient and primal and simple satisfaction. One that somehow heightens my awareness long after I've left the meditative state. It has changed the way I experience myself and my world. It has made me a happier person, one who is satisfied by the simplest things. It has deeply enhanced my sensuality and my sexuality.

He: Ahhh is that what it is about you? I think it is delightful. And you are such an example, that in my next life I want to be a woman. With a clit like yours. You must have done something truly amazing in a past life to be rewarded with such a clit.
Me: *blush* I'm being serious here.
He: So am I :)